Queen of pop Britney Spears is too scared to open her car door
I’ve heard of married couples “becoming one” but this is a little much.
A default ring tone is heard. 100 moms look at their purses.
Someone let me know when they find my jaw on the ground
million dollar idea: instead of spending thousands of dollars on steady-cam equipment, filmmakers should just attach a camera to the head of a chicken and carry the chicken around as you film.
They actually did that.
man razors always seem to be better built than lady shavers
why am i expected to remove all hair from nose to toe with a rusty knife glued onto a cheap pink plastic stick on an almost daily basis
if it is insisted that i be as hairless as a sphynx with alopecia swimming in a vat of radioactive nair i should at least be given razors that can sustain a single session of chopping down the dense and beautiful forestry that covers my upside-down canada for fuck’s sake
your tumblr is one of those things that you want everyone to see but at the same time you never want to show it to anyone